On average, I’ve been sending out about 40 resumes a month.  That doesn’t include sites where the application process is completely online.  A few thoughts I’ve had along the way:

I could be a cruise ship captain.  That would be fun.  Ohhh, you have to have marine experience.

Store Manager at Pizza Hut?  Ohhh, you have to have a car.  Assistant Store Manager?  Still need a car.  How disappointing.

Escort, stripper, sugar baby… No bueno.

Teach English to kids in China… No thanks.

Assistant Manager at Chuck E. Cheese?  I wouldn’t last a week.

Maybe I should get a real estate license.

Maybe I should complete an HVAC/plumbing/electrical apprenticeship.

Applied for four jobs with Sirius XM.  Three apps were rejected, the fourth status has said “Submitted” since 02/2013.  It’s been six months and still no word… I don’t deserve it?  (Eminem voice)

Next stop: Retail jobs.  One day, I’ll look back on all this and laugh.  Or smh.  Or cry.  0_o